By Sanusi Bature Dawakin Tofa
Sabature as popularly known took a bold decision this week when he announced on his Facebook page the need for men interested in taking a second wife to be guided on strategies to a successful venture into polygamous married life.The famous Kano based broadcaster and PR expert Sanusi Bature Dawakin Tofa has taken a new social role in public space as he voluntarily coaches men on polygamy.
Below are the first five tips he suggested.
Polygamy Tip No. 1 An Intro.
There’s no defined strategy for taking an additional wife, circumstances surrounding the intending polygamist and his immediate family (wife, children, parents and friends) are the basic parameters.
Study your circumstances deeply to determine the appropriate approach in your journey to polygamy.
Please note, too much critical analysis can be harmful to your project.
Think, act and review within the shortest possible time, delay in your decision could mean you have to start all over again.
Polygamy Tip No. 2
Get ready to spend at a multi-directional level, as you decide to take a second wife, spare some monies that could bail you from the troubles of your wife at home…
If you are rich enough, you can buy off her jealously at a fixed amount, 80 % of women can sign to this kind of deal…. the % of love they have for money is equal to the hatred they have for a co-wife, so the equation is balanced…
Note, this is not applicable to all of them, play safe my brother…lol some will throw away whatever you give them as another anger parade.
Polygamy Tip No. 3
Conceal your plans, focus on the potential 2nd wife.
Often, excitement over a new relationship makes us expose our plans for the polygamy project to friends and close associates through which some of them share the information with their spouses and it gets licked to your wife.
Do not share your relationship with too many people, caution the very few who in the picture of your polygamy project not to expose it until it gets so matured.
Nurture the relationship before your wife gets to know you are into it, not even your mum should know you’re in a relationship at the beginning unless if you need her approval.
Our mothers psychologically pity the first wife and she could get to understand something fishy.
Man, by exposing your plan, the chances of achieving your project is below the pass mark, women have strategies to destroy your polygamy attempt spiritually and otherwise. Note, about 80% of conservative Hausa Fulani women patronize the spiritualists.
If your wife gets a clue, she will turn to FIB, CIA, NIA DSS etc. Hence information gathering would be her main job and will desist to partake of her daily role as a wife.
Polygamy Tip No. 4
Be conscious on your telephone
For safety, change password, be with your phone while in toilet, look around before you put key/patterns on your phone, don’t sit close to windows, mirror or a high-level object while chatting with your potential 2nd wife at home.
Delete all messages or password them in a secret folder, keep her pictures far away, save her number with her surname or something else that is very unattractive.
Our phone is an important tool in maintaining a relationship but it can always be used against us in many ways by Her Excellency the first wife.
Polygamy Tip No. 5
Managing the violence of first wife…
In the event, she gets to know you’re in a serious relationship and she decided to be violent on the polygamy project, don’t surrender easily.
Withdraw all privileges you use to give her, such as the luxury to drive a car, paying for monthly contribution in the neighbourhood, recharging her cell phone, subscriptions of internet and satellite etc.
Assemble enough enemies for her to fight multiple fronts by being nice to those neighbours she dislikes, that old friend she terribly hates, that cousin whom she doesn’t want to know her secret.
Invite those relatives of yours who were not in very good terms with her to come for visit, always play or sing those songs she distastes in her life.
Give unnecessary instructions that are difficult to handle by female folks, such as changing the plug of the house power generator, fixing the washing machine which you could deliberately damage etc.
Keep close contact with her immediate family members such as parents, brothers and sisters, be extremely nice to them at that period to draw attention and sympathy.
Be like the chairman of gossip club, sometimes pretend as if you’re making calls with some very important dignitaries, she will attempt to embarrass you from the background but show her is normal with you.
If you owe her any amount, my brother kindly repay her immediately, you can borrow from someone in case you are out of cash.
Minimize approvals for going of the house, restrict frequent visits to her friends and those neighbours she relates well with.
Dawakin Tofa is a Development Communication Specialist